Daily Reminders, Never Forgotten

So... it has been about three or four weeks now since Papaw has passed. I won't say this has been an easy road accepting his death, but going back to work in the lemonade stand has helped me forget about it. However, Papaw is always in my thoughts. I continually think about him and the times we had when I was little. It makes me sad.

Just the other day I was thinking about the things that I am going to miss about Papaw. Every Christmas Eve we went to their house to exchange gifts. I will never forget the Barbie that he picked out for me when I was like 12... past the Barbie age. It is times like these when I really wish I still had it. Also during Christmas, if Papaw knew I wrapped his gift, he would automatically get a knife to open it, because I love to over-tape everything. Good times.

When I was at this past fair Mom sent me a picture of Papaw's gravesite. Since we haven't got the monument yet my Aunt made a wooden cross with his name on it. When I seen it, I was cleaning up the lemonade trailer for the night, and for some reason it just made me cry. It is so hard to believe that he is really gone.

Also, Deke was driving me to Columbus for Red, White, and Boom on Friday, and he was joking around just being stupid and said "Give me some sugars" because he wanted a kiss. This was something that Papaw used to say when I was WAY LITTLE. Like 5... He would say "give me sugars", and I would run into his arms and just kiss his cheeks. When Deke said it, it struck a nerve, and for some reason I just started crying. I told him not to say it, and he wondered why, and it just really got to me.

I don't know. It is just so hard to actually face the truth. He is gone. I know he is in a better place. He went to Heaven. He was also suffering with his cancer, and I can't say that I would want him here going through that again. But in my selfish desires, I want my Papaw back. He is greatly missed, and everyday I hear a little phrase of his, or see something camouflage (his hunting passion), and I immediately thing of him. It is a good thing though. I'll never forget him this way. Still yet... it does hurt.

Rest in Peace Papaw, we aren't forgetting you. :`)