Short Lived Summer and The Pain Starts Again...

Well, its true, the pain starts again. Which is translated into the fact that college started again yesterday. I cannot say that I am happy... I seem to have had a very short summer indeed. The first part of "summer vacation" was filled with worries of Papaw, and his death. The second part of summer was filled with concessions, and travels. So, I really had no summer... so now with the semester starting again, I wonder what in the heck I did with my time!

But, this summer was eventful in many ways. As I said, Papaw died, and that was heartbreaking. However, I know his suffering is over, and I guess that is what allows me to be okay with it. He met Jesus, and I envy him for that~! :)

Also, Deke proposed this year. It was the most adorable thing in the world. He started a new job recently, and works on the road, building Wal-Mart Supercenters with my daddy. However, prior to that, he was a concessionaire just like me. So, we have lived the carnie life for years, and that is how we met. So, this year, he come to the fair to surprise me, and after work he proposed! It was awesome! The carnie proposal!!! :)

Something else that happened was the cutting of my hair. Although that sounds like a insignificant event, it was dramatic for me! Lol... I have not had short hair since I was in 3rd grade, and so it was a big shock... But I really like it. It barley touches my shoulders. Its super cute! :)

But that was basically my entire summer. Oh, and my Pastor left my church. That was heartbreaking and dramatic also. I was very angry when I found out, and thought that if my Pastor has no faith in my church, I shouldn't either. However, when I got to church on his last sermon, I talked to him. He told me about wanting to follow God's will and that he felt like his time as Pastor was over. He did say that he loved me and would help me with anything, and even marry Deke and I still yet. So, as much as I hated to see him go, it was bittersweet. I love him, but am looking forward to some good changes in my church that has seemed to die in the last couple years.


But, now the pain starts. I assume that in no time, I will start another major war with Microsoft Word, as I have taken three English classes, one Linguistics class, and one Education class. So, I will be writing a lot... and tutoring at the Alternative School, and be doing field work. This is going to be a busy semester.

So, even though summer was short, and I hate that I have such a difficult schedule ahead of me, I am ecstatic to be back in the social life of college, where my friends are. Also, I am now a senior, so that is exciting. :)

Also, I am starting the task of planning my wedding. That is SuPeR exciting!!!!!!! :) I can't wait!!!!

Anyway, I guess I should go shower and prepare for my first day in Education 3285! :)

Later Folks!!!

Daily Reminders, Never Forgotten

So... it has been about three or four weeks now since Papaw has passed. I won't say this has been an easy road accepting his death, but going back to work in the lemonade stand has helped me forget about it. However, Papaw is always in my thoughts. I continually think about him and the times we had when I was little. It makes me sad.

Just the other day I was thinking about the things that I am going to miss about Papaw. Every Christmas Eve we went to their house to exchange gifts. I will never forget the Barbie that he picked out for me when I was like 12... past the Barbie age. It is times like these when I really wish I still had it. Also during Christmas, if Papaw knew I wrapped his gift, he would automatically get a knife to open it, because I love to over-tape everything. Good times.

When I was at this past fair Mom sent me a picture of Papaw's gravesite. Since we haven't got the monument yet my Aunt made a wooden cross with his name on it. When I seen it, I was cleaning up the lemonade trailer for the night, and for some reason it just made me cry. It is so hard to believe that he is really gone.

Also, Deke was driving me to Columbus for Red, White, and Boom on Friday, and he was joking around just being stupid and said "Give me some sugars" because he wanted a kiss. This was something that Papaw used to say when I was WAY LITTLE. Like 5... He would say "give me sugars", and I would run into his arms and just kiss his cheeks. When Deke said it, it struck a nerve, and for some reason I just started crying. I told him not to say it, and he wondered why, and it just really got to me.

I don't know. It is just so hard to actually face the truth. He is gone. I know he is in a better place. He went to Heaven. He was also suffering with his cancer, and I can't say that I would want him here going through that again. But in my selfish desires, I want my Papaw back. He is greatly missed, and everyday I hear a little phrase of his, or see something camouflage (his hunting passion), and I immediately thing of him. It is a good thing though. I'll never forget him this way. Still yet... it does hurt.

Rest in Peace Papaw, we aren't forgetting you. :`)

Papaw: You Will Always Be in my Thoughts, R.I.P.

Well, my Grandfather, Lee Shope, or as I liked to call him, Papaw, passed away this past Saturday, June 13th, 2009. He was battling cancer, and to see him go was honestly a great relief. I miss him and love him like crazy, but I now know his suffering is over.

He was diagnosed with lung cancer just this past February. We soon discovered that he was in stage four, the final stage. From there, we all set to make him well again. We went to James Cancer Center in Columbus where they put him through every test imaginable. They told us his cancer was inoperable also. He was very bad, but they still yet gave him a chemo treatment and sent him home.

After he was sent home, he continually went to the hospital down here because he said he couldn't breathe. He would go to the hospital where they would give him a breathing treatment and send him home. The only problem was that he didn't have a breathing treatment machine at home, and he continually had to keep going to the hospital. Finally, he grew so bad that he was spitting up infection. He eventually stopped breathing, and Dr. Saab done emergency surgery and inserted a chest tube into his lung to drain out the infection. Pure pus drained out for weeks. It smelled terrible in his room, and they really didn't even know if he would make it through the night. But he did. The previous chemo treatment should not have been given, because it messed up his chance of fighting the infection in his lung, which was also collapsed, we later found out.

However, he grew better, and went home with the chest tube, and received radiation to help fight the infection. He still yet underwent blood transfusions to keep him well, and even had a blood clot in his lung, which was dissolved with blood thinner.
He then started his chemo therapy. It was very hard on him, and each treatment made him deathly ill. We wondered how long he would be able to handle it. Finally, the pain he had was more than he could handle. He was in severe pain in his back. So, they gave him morphine, and switched him to something else. However, he didn't want to take it because he thought that since Tylenol had more milligrams, it would help well. We could not convince him that narcotics were better for the pain that he had. He would continually call for an ambulance, and go to the ER in the middle of the night, hoping they could ease his pain. Also, during this time, he would not eat because pain meds made him sick, and also the chemo. So, he was less than 100lbs. at this point. He did not understand that he was terminally ill, and nothing but taking his pain meds would ease his pain.

They finally had a doctor that told him since he was terminally ill, he needed to take what they gave him. He had a break down that day, and we really thought he had finally understood. He knew that he was dying, but we really thought it finally hit him that day.

However, it didn’t. He ended up in the hospital again soon, which was Sunday of Swap Days for me. He had a very harsh doctor (who also told my sister that she had food poisoning when she was hemorrhaging from a tubal pregnancy, and almost died 2 years before) that told him he had 3-6 months to live. From here, he went into a severe depression, and started going out of his right mind. He was given nerve medicine to try and get him back under control. However, those medicines made him hyper, and he quit sleeping. He also weighed about 86lbs. when he was admitted into the hospital. They admitted him to “get the pain under control”. However, this stupid doctor, I believe, drove him over the deep end.

So, he stayed restless, and was no longer able to really communicate with us. He would talk, but it was too difficult to understand. If I came in, he would say “Hi Shelly”, when I greeted him, but he would soon forget who I was. He got so bad and restless, they ended up restraining him in a chair that looked like a highchair for adults. The last great memory of him is when they gave him a balloon, and we hit it back and forth to each other. He couldn’t talk to me, but passing that balloon back and forth from the high chair kept him busy. His eyes would get huge, and you could see a slight smile on his face. It was precious.

So, he was admitted on Sunday, and by Friday, they decided they could do no more for him. They thought since he appeared fine that his pain was under control. Also, even though he was out of his right mind, medicine was not helping. So I guess they thought he was beyond help, and the cancer was simply taking over. They did however, do an MRI of Papaw’s back, and also his brain. They found some cancer activity in his back, but not enough to cause the severe pain. They also discovered that his brain had shrunk, on the side that controls motor skills. They told us it was irreversible, and that was why he was so shaky. They said it may be caused from radiation, chemo, malnutrition, and a number of other things. They also said his sodium level was really low, and that would also cause confusion.

So, Friday, when Mom and Grandma arrived at the hospital, they were told that Papaw was being released and they wanted to know if it was better to go now or after lunch. They were floored that Papaw was being released, so they said after lunch. His doctors had arranged for him to go to Best Care Nursing Facility in Wheelersburg. It broke Grandma and Mom’s hearts to have to put him in a place like that, but they knew that he required 24 hour care, and they were not able to give it to him. Hospice dismissed us stating that Papaw “was not Hospice material”.

So, Papaw was transported, and Mom and Grandma set about completing the paperwork at the nursing home. I arrived at that time. We were told the first 20 days was free, and that whole speech about liabilities. Mom also changed Papaw to a DNR patient, (or Do Not Resuscitate). This also broke her heart, but her and Papaw had talked and Papaw wanted everything medically possible done for him AS LONG AS THERE WAS HOPE. However, at this point, with brain shrinkage, there seemed to be no hope. Dr. Inoshita also had to stop the chemo, since Papaw was no longer in his right mind.

So, Mom, Grandma, and I, finished the paperwork, which was a 2 hour process, and we were finally able to go see Papaw. When we arrived in his room, we were horrified to discover he was sideways in bed, with his head handing over one side and his feet over the other. Had we taken ten more minutes, Papaw would have been in the floor. He also had no oxygen, and he is supposed to have it 24 hours a day. I was the one to notice this. Mom and Grandma were terrible upset, and we wondered how we could even leave him here. They told us, it was against the law to use bedrails on the bottom, which was what Papaw needed since he moved around so much with his nerves. However, his bed was in the center of the room. Mom was crying hysterically and went to go talk to Dad on the phone. Grandma and I stayed and waited for the nurse. When she arrived she helped us move the bed against the wall, and also get a pad on the floor, in case he fell off. She also got his oxygen for him. Mom came back, and my sister Tiffany, my Aunt Tammy and Tammy’s boyfriend Jeff arrived.

So, we all sat and were trying to think of what to do, when a nurse came in. We asked for bedrails and she said no, there was nothing she could do, and said it very rudely. She added that if he fell out of the bed enough, they would finally just put his mattress of the floor, and he would sleep down there. This set off Tammy and Mom again. Mom finally just laid in the bed with Papaw and hugged him to her and cried and begged him to go to sleep. Finally, a nurse arrived with a breathing treatment, and everyone but me decided to step out for a moment. So, I took advantage of the opportunity to lay with Papaw also. I hugged him to me, and prayed that God would send him rest. I also held his breathing treatment in place. This was a special moment for me. I rubbed his back, and he finally fell asleep. Everyone came back, and he was still asleep, so we decided to go get something to eat.

So, Grandma decided not to go with us. She was horridly upset and simply wanted to be alone. So, Mom, Tiff, Tammy, Jeff, and I all went to Giovanni’s for a meal. It was kind of fun. Jeff is a crazy person. He stole spoons and the parmesan cheese and pepper seeds by putting them in my Aunt’s purse. He even acted like he was going to take the pitcher with him. We were cracking up, and it felt good to laugh after such a hard day. Mom even grabbed the artificial tree that was standing by the door and started walking off with it. We were cracking up, and the employees just sat and watched, wide eyed and amazed… It was funny. My sides hurt from laughing.

So, from there, Mom and I decided to head home. I was house sitting my boss, Ryan’s house, and had dogs to feed. Mom just needed some time for sleep. So Tiffany, Tammy, and Jeff decided to stop back at the nursing home and take Papaw some chicken noodle soup. He was asleep when they arrived with his dinner, so we figured (and hoped) he might eat something. So, I arrived to Ryan’s, and sat down. I finally put my phone on a charger. However, Mom soon called after what seemed like ten minutes. She said Papaw had started chocking on the soup and quit breathing. We believe he was aspirating everything into his lungs at that point. So, Mom was rushing back to the nursing home, and I also did. I made it to Wheelersburg from outer Minford in about 13 minutes. When I arrived Mom was straddling Papaw and was holding oxygen to his face. She was bent over him with her face close to his, with her hair handing down, just crying her eyes out and telling him to take deep breaths and that he was going to be okay.

Papaw brushed Mom’s hair out of her face and her tears away and cried himself. I believe he came back to his right mind at that time. He grabbed Mom and also Tammy, and just hugged his two daughters to him. It was a touching moment, and I don’t think there was a dry eye in the room. So, I later found out, that the nurse on duty who was very nice didn’t really know what to do when Papaw lost oxygen. Tiff almost passed out when Papaw stopped breathing, but she did call Mom. It is hard to tell what might have happened if my sister and Aunt had not been there. Also, when Mom got there, Papaw’s oxygen level was only 81%, which is VERY low. Since the nurse didn’t know how to help Papaw, Mom assessed the situation and immediately set his oxygen at 5, instead of 2. The nurse didn’t know to turn it up. So, Mom got him stable again, and basically saved his life. So, we decided he should go back to the hospital to find out why he was losing oxygen. That had not happened since the chest tube incident, and we thought maybe his lungs had fluid again. So, they transported him by ambulance, and I got to ride with him. On the way there Mom called my ”boyfriend” Deke and told him about it. He was hours away in Meigs County, but he rushed home to be with me.

So, from here, most of my whole family arrived which included people like my aunt Debra, cousins Cody, Clarissa, Bub, a great uncle, and still yet Grandma, Mom, Tammy, Jeff, my sister, and my brother in law Sean. We all waiting to see what would happen, and took turns visiting Papaw. The troll who guarded the door only allowed two people at a time in Papaw’s room. So, they gave Papaw dose after dose of different medicines for pain and his nerves. He never did fall asleep however, but he was more attentive to us, and seemed to try to communicate a little better. They finally arrived with results from a chest X-ray. They said it was no different from his last one, and they didn’t really know what happened. We waited to hear if he was going to be admitted. Finally everyone became exhausted, and I volunteered to stay all night with him, and find out what was going to happen to him. I was supposed to call if they didn’t admit him. So they all left, and Deke and I sat up camp in the ER. Papaw was still yet incredibly restless and continually pulled off his oxygen and the oxygen monitor on his finger. I had to keep putting them back so he was okay. I believe that moment when Papaw was attentive again was our moment to tell him we loved him. I think God knew we needed it.

The doctor finally arrived in Papaw’s room and told me that he was not going to be admitted. I was amazed. I thought to myself, “how in the world can he go back to that nursing home!? They are going to kill him!” So I voiced that opinion. I told him we would not send him back there, and they needed to talk to someone else. They said that Dr. Provasnik wasn’t available, so Dr. Woodard had made that call. I told them no. No more nursing home. So, they decided to call Dr. Inoshita, the cancer doctor. Dr. Inoshita, I must admit, is an amazing person. He never told Papaw he had a certain amount of time to live. He is a very caring man. So, I was happy to discover Dr. Inoshita was willing to admit Papaw. So, we arrived at the hospital around 10:30 that night, and by 7:00AM he was being admitted and placed on the third floor. So, from there, Papaw was placed in a new bed, with a new oxygen monitor (that he actually left on!).

I pulled out the sofa for Deke, because he was falling asleep sitting up. I tried to sleep off and on. However, when Papaw’s oxygen got below 85% a loud alarm would go off and I would stumble out of bed, because I knew he had jerked his oxygen mask off. So I would tell him to breathe with me, and his oxygen level would return to a safe range. Papaw seemed out of it again, but I was happy to stay all night with him. I knew his days were numbered, and I felt safe for him knowing I was keeping his oxygen going.

When I finally lay down to sleep a nurse came and got me out of bed. She said I had a phone call. I arrived to the nurse station and discovered that Hospice was on the phone. She asked me if we had considered putting Papaw in their care. I thought, “Duh, we have talked to hospice and conducted meetings!” Previously Hospice would not take him into their care because they didn’t know how much longer he had to live. They said since it seemed to be more than two weeks he wasn’t “Hospice material”. So I told them, I would have my Mom call them whenever she arrived. I also got a phone call from my Aunt Debra, and informed her Papaw was admitted, and we were going to try and get some sleep. I didn’t call my Mom, because I knew she needed the rest. So, from 7 until about 9, I fought sleep and oxygen with Papaw. It was heartbreaking, but like I said, I was glad to be there. At 9 a nurse came in and I asked her if Papaw had received any pain meds and a breathing treatment. She said he had not, and asked if I wanted him to have Dulatin. I called Mom, since I knew nothing about his medicine. She okayed it, and said she would be by soon. Finally Mom, Grandma, Debra, and Clarissa arrived, and I took advantage of the opportunity to wake Deke and get something to eat.

We went to the cafeteria, and I told him I was fine and that he could do. He hated leaving me, but I knew he had things to do. So, I walked back into the hospital, and ran into a friend from church. She was on her way to go to another lady from church, and I tagged along. I wasn’t there long. I didn’t want to be away from Papaw… So I got back to his room and Mom was hysterical. She asked me why I hadn’t answered my phone and that I should keep it charged and really chewed me out. I was mad, and told her I stayed at the hospital all night, and really snapped back in a way that I shouldn’t have. I immediately felt bad and apologized.

However, a Hospice nurse arrived and told us that he had only hours left to live. They honestly didn’t even know if he was going to make it on the ambulance ride to the Hospice center. So, we cried and cried and cried some more, and I called Deke. He came back and we went to the Hospice center.

Papaw did survive the ride, and by that time the rest of the family had arrived: cousins, aunts, siblings, everyone. We knew his life was about over. He got settled, and a nurse came in and said he had about an hour. More time passed and she said he had about a minute or two, because she couldn’t even find a blood pressure. At that point, I was up by his side, kissing his head, and simply asking God to take him peacefully. It was then that I heard my Mom say, “I think that was his last breathe”. I cried and left the room.

So, that was it. Papaw died, and he died peacefully. He was down to about 80lbs. He simply looked like he was asleep. We all left and went to Grandma’s. This was Saturday. The next morning my Mom went and picked up her brother Kevin from the bus station. He said as soon as he stepped off the bus he knew Papaw was gone and he didn’t make it in time because Mom and Tammy were crying so hard.

We also made the funeral arrangements that day. The funeral was set for Tuesday. We had a family get together and made poster boards with Papaw’s pictures. I even titled one “Mountain Man”, since that was his nickname. It included his hobbies, which were animals, hunting, and fishing. It was cute. At the funeral, I picked two songs, which were “Go Rest High On That Mountain” and “Amazing Grace: My Chains Are Gone”. They also played “I’ll Fly Away”. It was a nice service and I was happy to be there: for my family, for myself, and most importantly, to say goodbye to my Papaw. He looked really good also. He was decked out in his snakeskin cowboy boots, his “Shope” belt, and even his camouflage shirt and Cabela’s hat. He was buried not even 5 miles from his house, close to his swamp, and the place he loved.

It is Thursday now, and everyone is doing okay. Grandma is redecorating her house, and eliminating some of the deer hunting things. She loved him, but she was totally overrun with Deer stuff. He was an avid hunter… Mom is also doing well. She still doesn’t sleep very well at night. She still cries, and keeps thinking of him brushing away her hair and tears. She cried all the way home the yesterday because Grandma gave her one of Papaw’s deer heads, his pride and joy.

It just seems so weird that Papaw is gone. In December, he looked fine! He was just diagnosed in February. It all happened so fast. Like Mom said, she was so focused on making him well, that she didn’t even think ahead to “what if he doesn’t make it?” I just hope and pray that she is okay.

I honestly feel great. I know that Papaw is in peace. He made it to Heaven. When he found out he was sick, he got rededicated, and committed himself totally to God. I take comfort in the fact that him and God are doing his famous “Snake Dance” at the pearly gates. :)

This whole experience has been hard. I have never been near a cancer patient, nor have a seen someone dwindle away so fast. I have never been with a person when they die, let alone be kissing them. It is touching, and something I will never forget. This whole week has been terrible. I broke up with my boyfriend Deke at the worse time. I told him I was seeking a closer walk with God. So, I have to deal with Deke wanting me back and Papaw’s death. Deke was with me through it all, even though we were broke up, but I still need to seek God’s will. I can’t thank Deke enough, but I have to listen to what God wants. This whole week has been hard, but I really feel closer to God, and comforted by his grace, and mercy. Last night in church, I knew God was keeping me in his thoughts and giving me strength. I love God and this whole experience with Deke and Papaw has opened my eyes to God. I just pray that I continue on the path of righteousness. I want to be the Christian that God wants me to be. I want to be with Papaw in Heaven someday. I want to do Papaw’s Snake Dance with him. I want to see Papaw again.

Disney Princess Night...

Okay, so I have discovered that summer= boredom. I have reached a point in my life where TV isn't amusing. Movies bore me. When there isn't homework to be done, I sit around and wait for someone to call me, or come over, and keep me from getting bored. However, the other night, I hit a low. Deke was away at work. Michelle was busy with her boyfriend, and all my other friends were occupied with their non-boring lives. So what did I do? I decided to get out of the house. Where did I go? Well, Wal-Mart of course! I decided that I needed to leave, and buy a coloring book. It allowed me to get out of the house for a little while, and I was also going to have something to occupy me when I arrived back home. So, I went and found the most amazing coloring book in the world: DISNEY PRINCESSES!! I have always been a hardcore Disney Movie fan after all... So I went home pretty excited, and I began the search for the perfect Disney movie so that I could watch Disney Princesses, while coloring them. My selected Disney Princess: Jasmine, from Aladdin. This was my favorite movie EVER when I was little. So much in fact, that I had the bed clothes, and even the Jasmine Barbie... Anyway, so I finally found all three Aladdin movies: Aladdin, The Return of Jafar, and The Kind of Thieves. I was pretty excited, but I must admit, still a little depressed... So, I got the first movie out, but in into the VCR in the living room, and heard the most awful noise in the world. The VCR had tried to EAT MY ALADDIN MOVIE! I was devestated. Here I was, coloring book and crayons in hand, with a messed up Disney movie. I was already feeling pretty low anyway. Here I am, finally out of college, enjoying free time, alone, but I can't enjoy it. I felt like I was so boring that my friends kept blowing me off, and I was just in a bad mood. I angerly jerked the tape from the VCR and the tape part was hanging out and wrinkled. I almost cried. That was my favorite Disney movie, Aladdin!

So, in a deperation, I rolled the tape back inside of it, and stormed up to my bedroom, where a VCR was actually more than 20 years old. It works... So, I placed the tape inside, and prayed to God that he have mercy on my fragile mind and allow the tape to work. Praises... it did. So, I laid on my bed for the next few hours, coloring pictures of Jasmine. I still yet was not content. I told myself this whole sorid scene was pretty pathetic. I was assured of this when Deke finally arrived, and he looked at me like I was crazy, because of my "Disney Princess Night"... He told me I needed to find something to do. I now have high hoped of finding a puzzle to assemble. Deke is now working out of town, in South Carolina, and I am wondering how many more Disney Princess Nights I might have now that he is away. He keeps me occupied, but now he is gone.

Anyway, I have to admit, as sad as it was, I did keep myself busy all night, and colored some amazing pictures. I am so darn crafty!!! LoL... Oh well... I am off to go find something to do. I am clearly bored right now (thus I am blogging). But yeah... Much love to all...

"No I'm Not A Carnie..." continued...

... Hahah... I have made a decision. What is it you may ask. Well... this picture will be the "author photo" for my book. Isn't that fitting? You can see the hysteria in my face... I love it!

Also, for the cover, I have decided to put either a picture of the "fair" or maybe the picture of the lemondae trailer that is already on this blog.

LoL... I know... I'm crazy!

"No... I'm Not a Carnie, I Bathe Every Night"... It's true... my book is totally coming to life!

Well, here is after, at 5:00 in the morning, and I once again can't sleep. I guess that is to be expected, since I took a 4 and a half hour nap today... Hmm... I love sleeping in the daytime.

Anyway, finals week is now over for me. I had my last battle with Microsoft war, and I ended the battle. At noon tomorrow I will hand in my final two essay, and complete my Junior year of college. I really cannot believe I have been in college that long...three years! It seems unreal that I am that old, and that I have actually made it this far. However, I have this great sense of accomplishment, and what is even more, I have this great sense of relief and more importantly, FREE TIME!

So, what are my plans for this summer? Well, I am going to go back to work at the fair, working as a concessionaire. I love my job, and I could think of nothing better to do this summer. I am excited.

Something else that is pretty major that I intend to so this summer is... WRITE A BOOK!!! I know many of you have probably heard me talking about it, because I am uber excited! So, what is this book, everybody else might ask? Why, it is my story of work. It is the true confessions of a concessionaire. Haha! This is going to be so0o0o great.

So, I have already started writing about it. I don't have chapters written yet, but I have figured out what each chapter is going to be about, what it will include, and finally, what each is going to be called.

It goes a little something like this:

__________________________________________________________

"No, I'm Not a Carnie, I Bathe Every Night"

Chapter I- What is a Carine, and Why I am Not One

• This chapter will talk about the differences between "Carnie" and "Concessionaire". These differences include issues such as bathing at night, washing our clothes daily, among other things.

Chapter II- Before Life Gave Me Lemons

• This chapter will discuss my life before I became a concessionaire

Chapter III- The View From the Boxtruck

• This chapter will discuss what life is like when you live at the fair, camping there, and never leaving the fairgrounds.

Chapter IV- Hey... Crap Happens...

• This chapter will discuss some of the funny events that happen at the fair. These include a woman, forcing me to shake her three lemonades, and after each one, declaring "I cannot drink this, there is a bug in it", in a very strange accent. Another event is the phrase, "I'll go straight Steve Rader on you." This is based from my bosses father, another concession's owner, who gets grouchy. So... we named an expression of anger after him. Another event is the "Pussy $1.00" sign, that occurred when someone rearranged the letters on my menu board. Bees attacking customers. Making Brett paranoid by telling him he wasn't allowed to use the bathroom in his camper, and he couldn't go to the other bathroom because the girl had genital warts (when she didn't). Another event is witnessing Ryan and Jacinda (my bosses) fighting. Also "special people"
  

Chapter V- Things That Make You Go... Blah!

• This chapter includes what exactly "fair attire" includes. This covers short shorts in EVERY SIZE, the ever present "camel toe", thank tops that also come in EVERY SIZE
  

Chapter VI-The Lodown...

• This chapter will cover the difference from fair to fair that I attend. These include Adams County fair, where people are... less than sophisticated... (to say in the least, they pay with pennies!), Washington Courthouse, where people really are sophisticated (they pay with hundred and fifty dollar bills), Pike County Fair, where normalcy is almost restored since it is a good redneck kind of area, and finally Scioto County Fair, which for a lemon shaker, this is the superbowl of all fairs!

Chapter VII-My Love Life... Was It Just A Lack of Options? (Alternative title: Love At First Lemon)

• This chapter will talk about how I found love at the fair, from a guy who worked in a sausage trailer. It will talk about how I used to save the first cup of sweet tea, "because it was the sweetest." It will talk about our crazy midnight swimming parties, the fairy tale ending... if we get married will be buy our own trailer, and live our lives, concessionaire style?
  

Chapter VIII- Guarding the family jewels...err... uhh... lemons...

• This chapter will cover my many incidents in which I have played guard dog, and almost gotten in fights.

Chapter IX- Harrassing New Workers (New a need title... this one is boring... any ideas?)

• This will talk about "the new kids", and what I do to them. Includes information about "15 year old boys who look like 12 year old girls", and even a boy named Derrik who I called "Dirk" and "Dirt", and the pranks I played on him such as "Dirk you have a customer, just to get him to turn around... 100 times in one night)
  

Chapter X- "Shelly Speak" (I might add this chapter to the one about life at the fair, Chapter III)

• If included alone, it will cover my behavior while at work, how I speak, constantly sing and whistle, play games, cut straws and give them out, pull trailers, and even making fun of fair people and carnies with the code phrase "what are you looking at?"
  

Chapter XI- Bosses, the "supposed authority figures" (I will probably move this chapter up, to introduce true fair life...)

• This is obviously going to be about my bosses, Ryan and Jacinda, and their family.
  

Chapter XII- Health Inspections (Need a better title, Perhaps "Assessing the Situation)

• This will talk about crazy health inspectors, and those incidents. Incidents include bugs in the sugar, test strips, fire hydrants and passing them around before the inspector acutally arrives, bleach and also sharing this, sink swapping...yeah, we even share these...
  

Chapter XIII- Swap Days, an experience in and of itself... and other minor events

• Swap Days is a very crazy place. This chapter will talk about why. Includes ideas about the variety of animals (even tigers and monkeys), crazy people, "hairy beast (a super nice customer who hates clothing, but is VERY hairy). This chapter will also cover some of the smaller events I go to, such as festivals. I might actually just make a chapter about festivals.
  

Chapter XIV- "You Have 800 missed calls"... no really, your friends want you to come home!

• This chapter will cover how my friends feel about me leaving the fair. One even said, and I quote, "I feel like you are my solider away at war!" It will also talk about how I tend to draft my friend's help when I need them, and give them the advice to thank me now, hate me later... because it really is hard work!
  

Chapter XV- The Fair From an Outsider Point of View (Need a better title)

• I think I might actually interview people and see their take on the fair. So... if you are reading this... be prepared to be asked, and if you want to volunteer, thats cool too!
  

Chapter XVI- Things You Will and Will Not Find at the Fair (Need better title, perhaps "The Questions Are Answered")

• This will include some of the crazy or annoying questions people ask me such as the following: Do you have papertowels, do you have change, do you have pizza or pop, etc. Carnie... err...
  

Chapter XVII- Concessionaire's for Life (Alternative title: A Lifelong Job... or at least the boss hopes so...)

• This will talk about the fact that since I am going to be a teacher, I will have summer off, and will technically be able to work...

Chapter XVIII- When Life Gives You Lemons...

• This will talk about how my life is now. I am not shy anymore, am kind of crazy, and definitely a SOCIAL BUTTERFULY .

Chapter XIX- (I don't have a title for this chapter yet...)

• It will be the final chapter and sum up the book. It will end on a serious note, and talk about how being a concession worker is coming of age. This book is coming of age story. It will talk about how concessions relates to life, and what everything means in the grand scheme of things.

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Well, these are all my ideas for my book. I hope to start writing soon, now that summer is here. It is going to be a young adult coming of age story. I am really excited about it, and think it is going to be really funny. Well everyone, give me your input. If you have any ideas for me, and comments, just let me know! :) I'm going to bed now... It's 6:06 AM now... and I am tired. Goodnight all and love!

A Second To Breathe...

Okay, so I started this blog last semester in EDUC 2230, not because I wanted to, but because I had to. Then, I started the next semester and took five English classes... because I am an idiot. However, I was never really able to come back here, on account of no time thanks to all my essay writing.

But now, the semester is almost over. Thank God for that... seriously, thank you God. :)

Well, I really don't have time to spend writing on a blog right now either. I have a huge paper for Dr. Pauley due on Wednesday, and if I can pull off a 95%, I'll get an A in the class. However, the trend in her class has been mostly B's and the occasional C. It is killing me, and I really want to do well... I am just so burnt out...

Also, next week I have Dr. Piontek's test, and Dr. Milliken's all essay test. I don't think either one will be difficult, I just really don't feel like studying for them! This weekend I have basically locked myself in my room only emerging for bathroom needs, and food. I look like an ogre I am pretty sure, and if I hadn't been starting into the computer screen for hours and my eyes were't blurry I would be able to make my face out in the mirror across my room. Perhaps its a good thing I can't! :)

Achievements this weekend however: I finished Professor Spradlin's take home final, Dr. Holtman's nine page take home final, and even Dr. Piontek's final paper.

Upon writing all of these I decided I was, and have been in, a major war with Microsoft Word this entire semester. Every paper I have written in a mini battle. If I get a A, I dominated the battle. B's, I won the battle. C's, I faired decently in the battle. Anything else, I didn't have to adress thankfully. However, I am getting ready to stage another battle for Dr. Pauley. The final battle. It is a hard paper though. But after that the war will be over... for a couple months a least. Wow... school is almost over until the end of August. Again: Thank you God. :)

Hmm... now that I have vented properly about finals week, let me vent about my life.

This has literally been the hardest semester of my life. Thanks to awesome professors I have made it through however. But really, life has been so hard lately. I don't really know how I am handling it. Papaw is basically on his deathbed, and everytime I see him he looks skinnier. He weighs about 100lbs. now. It is so sad to watch a family member die right before your eyes. Wow... the final stage of cancer you say? Okay... Wow...4 months to live? Okay... I guess...

Not only that, it is making my whole family crazy. Mom is so stressed out, and as I little grouchy. Totally understandable. However, admist this situation, and the hardest semester of my college career, I am also a little grouchy, and she is quick to point that out. Sorry Momma... I'm a little tense, don't take it personally. :)

Anyway, yeah, life is hard right now. I am s0o0o broke. I have actually never been this broke, with this many bills in my life. However, I really don't have time for a job with college and Microsoft Word battling me daily! >:P

Oh well, I am going to make it through the semester it seems. God has given me a strenght I really didn't know I had. Again: Thank you God! :) LoL...


Well, I have probably wasted enough time procrastinating the final battle with Word... I better go now. :(

Hopefully when this semester ends I can relax finally. I will be working on my book soon, might I add! I am pretty excited, and laugh if you will, but I am totally doing it, and it is going to be epic! "No, I'm Not a Carnie, I Bathe at Night"... totally happening! Maybe I will write some chapters on here... Hahah... that'll be fun...

Well all, I really should go now. Nature calls and if I don't leave this room to feed my stomach, I do believe it will feed on me.

--Much love to all...